Divorce. It’s empowering, liberating, exhilarating and bloody terrifying all at the same time.
I am often asked what was the greatest adjustment that I had to make after my marriage ended. Was it sleeping alone in a bed? Was it attending dinner parties as my new status “plus one”? Or was it attending to the normal “man jobs” of changing light globes and killing huntsmen? Well I can tell you that it was in fact none of these things. The greatest adjustment I made was much more personal and took great strength, commitment and sacrifice… and it involved my undies and bra.
Since the birth of my second daughter, (18 months after the first) the desire to wear matching lingerie became a distant memory. I justified this by telling myself that if my husband could stand down at the “working end” watching whilst I gave birth, and still found me sexually attractive, then I could pretty much walk around in a kaftan made of cheesecloth and he’d be happy…how wrong was I.
Standing in front of my full-length mirror about 6 months into being a single mum the reality of just how far I had let myself go hit me. The charming ensemble I was wearing was a greyish-blue color, the same color as pretty much everything that was once white in my wardrobe, and I was bulging out of every place it was possible to bulge out of. Not cute, in fact it was bloody horrendous.
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And thus started my new shopping addiction and obsession with lingerie. I tossed out every “comfy” pair of undies and every ill fitted bra and made a pledge to myself that even if I was the only person that would ever see them, I would always make sure that what I wore under my clothing would be beautiful, feminine and sexy, (another pledge was that I would no longer throw them into the washing machine with the dogs blanket).
Wearing beautiful lingerie helps to unleash our inner goddess. When we adorn our bodies with such luxurious items we increase our self-worth and self-confidence and ignite our feminine creativity. Regardless of whether we’re single or in a blazing hot love affair, our lingerie is sending a very powerful message to our psyche. Either you think you’re worth it, or you don’t, and that impacts everything!
The lingerie shift was the catalyst for many other changes that would follow. I embraced a new mindset that the most important person I needed to be beautiful for was me, the rest would just follow.